Forgiveness | agathashelly's Blog
I watched a docuementary today called Forgiving Dr. Mengele, who was a Nazi SS Doctor who performed atrocious experiments on the concentration camp prisoners. It is basically about a Mengele twin who had survived and then later on claimed that she has forgiven the Nazi's, especially Mengele for what was done to her. At first I was skeptical because I didn't understand how anyone, much less a surviving prisoner of Auschwitz could forgive such a crime against humanity and the people who participated in such evil.
I then let her overall message sink in and realized that no matter who hurts me or what obstacles I have and may face, I have the power to forgive. For many years I have been living with so much angst because of all the crap that's been dealt my way. I try to act tough, pretend that I am as solid as rock, but my shield is very thin and penetratable. The pain of what has been inflicted on me still haunts me to this day.
In my darkest hours I still feel like a victim, but I try so hard to overcome the pains of the past. After watching this documentary I had a good cry and realized that I don't have to continue to be ruled by my past afflictions. I have the power to forgive the people who have hurt me. I don't have to continue on being bitter towards them and instead can forgvive them to heal my heart and soul. I have been carrying so much on my back for so long that the weight of it is beginning to criple me in some way.
So, I am going to slowly teach myself to forgive, but never forget. As my life goes on I don't want to go through it being bitter, resentful and hide behind a fake smile. People have and still will talk about me behind my back for the sole purpose of making me feel bad because it is in their nature to do so. I am in no way perfect and am just as flawed as any other human being, but I will at least the power to forgive while everyone else hangs on to their pain.
This journey won't be easy, but I am willing to rough it knowing that what's on the other side is something far better than what I have now.
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Previous Posts, posted September 26th, 2014
Intolerance, posted September 25th, 2014
Religious Stigma, posted September 22nd, 2014
The Lost Jewel, posted September 20th, 2014
Spiritual Growth, posted September 13th, 2014
On the fringes of Faith, posted September 1st, 2014
The Ultimate Dog Tease, posted August 31st, 2014
Some people...., posted August 25th, 2014
Depression ( PT2 ) My thoughts on Robin William's Passing, posted August 13th, 2014, 2 comments
Robin Williams, Depression and the darker side of life., posted August 12th, 2014, 1 comment
A life changing decision, posted August 7th, 2014
The Atrocity that is Fifty Shades of Grey ( Trailer Included ), posted August 1st, 2014
Update on Life, posted July 30th, 2014
I hate The Fifty Shades of Grey Group, posted July 24th, 2014
"Friendenemy", posted July 7th, 2014
The flute blues, posted June 26th, 2014
So many doors...which one do I choose?, posted June 14th, 2014, 1 comment
Week 1 of Summer semester and the drama that ensues...., posted May 31st, 2014
A Needed Rant, posted May 21st, 2014
Important Notice, posted May 21st, 2014
Update on Life, posted May 15th, 2014
The Verdict is in!, posted May 12th, 2014
Finally over, posted May 8th, 2014
Only so much you can do......, posted May 3rd, 2014
We shouldn't have to deal with it PT2 of Grossed out, posted April 28th, 2014
Grossed out!, posted April 27th, 2014
Why God, Why?????, posted April 26th, 2014
Through the Cracks, posted April 25th, 2014
I think I am a victim of Plagiarism, posted April 22nd, 2014
And the drama continues...., posted April 15th, 2014
I heart photoshop, posted April 11th, 2014
Bitter disappointments...., posted March 29th, 2014
Swing and a miss..., posted March 23rd, 2014
Jitters, posted March 23rd, 2014
A Different Arena, posted March 15th, 2014
Life...so far..., posted March 8th, 2014
So, yeah, updating on life., posted February 26th, 2014
The Night of Red Hair, lol., posted February 15th, 2014
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Bill Nye VS. Ken Ham: Creationism VS. Evolution. What do you believe?, posted February 5th, 2014
Quick Update, posted February 4th, 2014
Ugh, sisters., posted February 3rd, 2014
Turning Point, posted February 2nd, 2014
Apology & Update on my Life, posted January 28th, 2014
Surface Flaws: A Rant., posted January 25th, 2014
Bill Nye on Creationism, posted January 23rd, 2014
Veronica Mars: The Movie, posted January 5th, 2014
Fifty Shades of Sisterly tension, posted January 4th, 2014
Blackfish, the documentary, posted December 27th, 2013
No one's supposed to cry on Christmas, posted December 26th, 2013
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